to_protect_to_save [Curious Coeurlian RP Repository]

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====== To Protect to Save - 12/21/20 ======

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

Blue was restless, as she tended to be of late. Perhaps it was because there was no stability on this trip. A few days spent here, a few days spent there, one short stay a continent away just for a certain Starlight party...

The coming morning, Blue and Lami would trek out on foot to where the Xaela still didn't know. In the peace of the night and as the gentle somber sounds of crickets filled her ears, Blue picked up her linkpearl and made a call.

"Luna? Are you awake? It's me, Blue."

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

There is a moment of silence before the gentle hum of confirmation, that the call was received and answered. There was a slight but distinct trace of muddle to the woman's voice as she was roused from sleep. " Miss... yawn Miss Blue? Well, I suppose I am now. It is not oft that I receive calls so late, what is the matter?" At the mention of Blue there comes a very sleepy and slurred yet cheery voice nearby, excitedly asking about the call. "Isss... iss Blue!? Ohhh! yawn" The bright chatter of Lucatiel faded fast as the girl promptly fell back into bed.

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

A steady yet near constant thumping sound could be heard as the call was answered and Blue got to hear not only Luna but Luca as well. The Xaela reached out with one hand to still her frenzied tail wagging while she affixed the pearl to her ear with the other.

At Luna's question, the girl answers after a thoughtful pause.

"I'm sorry to disturb your sleep! The days here are always busy with training and other things, and tomorrow we have a bit of a journey to reach our next destination so I thought this might be the best time to call."

Blue walked over to a nearby window that looked out upon the Ruby Sea and Lami's ship docked nearby. The girl sighed.

"...What made you decide to join the knights?"

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

There is another pause before Luna speaks again. "It... is quite alright. If not your call then aught else would have awoken me at some point, surely." The woman invisibly stretches, pinching her eyes. "What? Why did I join the knights? Well... I suppose that is both a prolonged answer in truth, but I could summarize if you wish. Put simply, there was one I looked up to quit substantially. They too were a knight, and I wished to be by their side so becoming a knight seemed like the simplest solution. Along the way I found considerable strength, both inward and outward, as well as a sense of purpose that I had perhaps lacked. I am, naturally, glossing over much, but I do not imagine you wish to hear the inner conflicts of a young knightess." It had perhaps been intended to come out with a bit of a chuckle and humour, but through her lightly addled mind it perhaps sounded icy and formal.

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

Blue listened with interest, drawing her knees to her chest. The Xaela herself had a penchant for visualizing things that were told to her, imagining what a young Luna might look like as well as her hoisting an comically large sword and shield.

The girl snickered softly at the thought before she answered back, "Actually, I kind of do want to know more. It doesn't seem like an easy path to take..." She paused, thinking. "Not that I know much about the process or anything like that.  But not just anybody becomes a knight, Tret's told me that much. Was it worth it?"

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

"I would ne'er trade the path I took, Miss Blue." There is no hesitation to her answer whatsoever. "Becoming a knight is quite arduous, much less a Temple Knight to the Holy See. In order to even become squired, I was required to slay a dragon myself at 15 winters. It nearly laid me low." She speaks plainly, thinking back on it all. "If you wish to know more of the path to knighthood itself, I would gladly speak of it. Though I must confess surprise, I never thought you to be the sort to desire it."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc>
 
Blue winced at the mention of slaying a dragon, her lips pursing briefly as she thought of that poor dragon's family. Not the time or place however.

She giggled at Luna's suggestion and found herself shaking her head softly. "I don't know if I'd have the ability to be a part of all that myself. It seems quite strict, though it must be nice to be part of something so important."

"My desires are more simple than that I guess. I just want to protect the people I care about. I know I don't know you as well as I could Luna, but I  think you can relate."

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc>
 
"You need not know me well to know that I task protecting others as the highest priority. You are indeed correct. But you need not be a knight to do so. And it is not as strict as you may believe. There are stipulations, sure, but I am free to do much as I please so long a I represent Ishgard and the Holy See virtuously." Unseen, the woman looks over to the table in her room, at the emblematic badge she carries.

"I am not sure if there is much I could teach you specifically in relation to protecting those you care for, but I suppose I would try all the same. I have scarce seen you in combat save once, but you are clearly capable."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc>
 
Blue sulked a little, ears flattening back against her head. "I'm not so certain about capable. In the Sylphlands and in hunting down that wyvern I'd felt plenty useless. Even Vinalo proved their might in the face of danger."

"I take part in the Grindstone to get stronger. I'm all the way out here in the hopes of learning and growing as a fighter from Lami. But it still never feels like enough. If I face any threats out here, I don't know that I could do anything at all to protect everybody.."

The Xaela panted lightly after her semi-rant had finished, her voice lowering to a gentle murmur.

"What if my friends die because of me? What if I really can't do anything?"

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

"I am afraid..." The woman begins, pausing with an audible sigh, "That is simply a possibility. Failure lurks bathed in shadow at every turn. And it is crushing. The weight of losing someone is immeasurable, and the knowledge that they fell because of your inability is a hurt that never fades." There is a very long pause as Luna reminisces somewhat, caught up in her own mind. "That... That is the burden of being the guardian. But there is also the boon of seeing your companions saved by your own hand, ensuring their safety and cheer. Of being the one they turn to in their times of need, and of being their savior in crisis. I must confess, the feeling is somewhat intoxicating."

There is a another pause as Luna looks over at her sleeping ward, slumped over in bed as she had just basically passed back out after being awoken. "When I began my training, I was but a youth. You are already far beyond where I began. You are surely possessed of the fortitude and strength. Besides, there are ways to aid and protect that do not involve wearing heavy armors and holding a shield."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

Something akin to a sniffle could be heard on the other line, followed by a shuffling sound as the Xaela paced slowly in her room.

She didn't say anything for a moment, listening instead to the chirping crickets outside.

"..My youth was spent fighting in some dark pit, hoping for some mercy or death- whichever came first."

She didn't seem to want to give Luna too much room to question, absently scratching at her cheek.

"The only training I received was how to survive it, years and years of pain and hurt and watching others fall or suddenly disappear.."

"Perhaps I'm strong because of that experience but...it also broke me."

"I fear so much. I fear losing everything. I fear being alone again. I can't... fight the way I used to, and so I'm weaker and learning is slow and difficult to understand and-"

Blue was working herself up, a strangled little sob escaping her voice just before she coughed, trying to mask the sound.

"..Lami says I can't protect everyone. That it's impossible. But I've already lost so much of my life..I can't consider failing the only ones who've made my life have meaning."

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

There is a pause again before Luna speaks, her tone slightly warmer. "Miss Blue, I am terribly sorry to hear of that. That sounds like it was a terrible experience. I could not blame you for harboring such fear after all that." Knowing herself to not be the warmest person around, the woman struggles as she lacks any way to immediately rectify such a situation. With Lucatiel she could hold or comfort, but with someone she knew so little much less across the world. Empathy and words were all the salve she could offer right now.

"Miss R'lamiza is not incorrect, though I would not consider her correct either. It is true, you can not protect everyone. You are only one person, and all have limits. However, you are still able to defend those closest to you. Be it family, a partner, or even someone you only just met. Anyone is possessed of what it takes. And as I have learned in the past couple winters, when you fail you will have those around you to assist. You have Sir Tretesta, certainly, as well as Miss R'lamiza it would seem. I know Lucatiel speaks highly of you, and would certainly rush to your side. I would not hesitate to lend my shield to yours as well."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

Blue flicked her ears as she listened. She hadn't really expected words of comfort - rather the Xaela had surprised herself with her own outburst. To each word the girl listened quietly, her mind a mish-mash of what ifs and fears and very little confidence to hold it all together.

But she did seem to catch on one particular sentence - Anyone's possessed of what it takes. The Xaela murmured out a quiet, "Maybe..." before letting Luna continue further, stringing in her companions who would come to her aid if she needed it.

"You're right.  I mean..I'm not alone in this, and there are people to turn to for help. It's not just me anymore."

"But...what if they aid me and get into danger themselves?"

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

"A legitimate concern, surely. But if they have made the decision to help, surely they are aware of the risks, no? It comes with the territory. Those who come to your salvation will surely be hurt, but it was by their choice. In turn, you both clean your wounds and grow stronger for it." There is a pause before a very dry chuckle comes. "It would be wise to learn field dressings and wound care if you do not already know, Miss Blue. Le salut a un prix. Salvation comes at a price."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

Blue sighed and nodded, even if it was rather unseen on her end. She looked out across the sand where she thought she spotted a lone figure out by the water. It was a pretty enough night for it though, and the girl plopped back into her bed.

"The company I keep are the sorts to know when they're facing bad things. You included," She added as an afterthought. 

"You're really strong Luna. I know why Luca always looks up to you. But I guess no one just starts out like that...you gotta bounce back from the injuries you take."

At Luna's suggestion of learning wound care, the Xaela tilted her head, blinking. "I...I never thought of that before! I'll see if Lami can show me how to do it. I'm sure that would be super helpful to know along with the rest of my training."

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

"I appreciate your kind words, Miss Blue. I would like to consider myself strong, though sometimes I am unsure. If Miss R'lamiza does not or can not teach you wound care, I will gladly do so upon your return. It is a vital knowledge for anyone adventuring or wishing to protect others." She pauses, off-handedly petting Lucatiel's head behind her, watching over her for a moment. "Mayhaps Lucatiel would be better suited to teach you even."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

"Yes, I'll keep that in mind," Blue said in earnest, a small smile appearing on her face at the mention of Lucatiel possibly teaching her as well. "I know she's been working super hard at learning how to heal and mend from Vinalo, She might be fun to learn from!"

The Xaela paused for a moment, closing her eyes briefly. 

"Thank you for hearing me out. My trip has been...interesting. Enough so that I need to ask these questions. I don't want to falter. I don't want to let anyone down."

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

"Yes... Fun." Luna lets out a small dry chuckle, still looking at the girl and shaking her head a bit. "It is quite alright Miss Blue. I am sure you will visit and recount with us your tales when you return, I know Luca will enjoy that immensely." 

There is a pause. "No one wishes to err, Miss Blue. We strive highly to avoid it. But it will occur, inevitably. Do not put such a harsh burden on yourself as to equate it with complete failure. Do your best, that is all anyone could ask of you. We will be there to assist."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

"Thank you," the Xaela found herself repeating, trying to process the advice she'd been given.

"When I come back to visit, maybe we can both exchange stories and adventures over tea! We can take turns exciting Luca over tales of valor and courage."

Blue smiles to herself at the thought, stretching her arms up over her head in a languid stretch.

"But, I'd better let you get back to sleep. Maybe I can do the same for a few bells more."

<fc #4682b4>''[Luna]''</fc> 

The woman's tone shifts as she smiles slightly. "You are quite welcome, Miss Blue. Surely she will look forward to such a thing. Full glad am I that I am able to offer some comforting words. Take care, and do please return safely."

<fc #0000ff>''[Blue]''</fc> 

"G'night Luna!" Blue plucks the linkpearl from her ear, fiddling with it a bit until a soft click was heard. Once more she'd bury the pearl under her pillow, flopping down onto it soon after with a tired little huff. The Xaela smiled to herself, feeling a fair bit better after the conversation, closing her eyes and hoping that sleep would come sooner rather than later. There was a long trek to make, very soon.

----

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