[Blue]

Blue was awake and restless. It was morning, though the sky was still dark and the small cabin the Kerberions lived in remained shrouded by the swelling shadows of trees and plantlife. The Xaela was at the small circular dining table trying to be quiet, her head buried in her arms and her eyes squeezed shut. Sleep would not take, and the painful throbbing in her head was so vicious that Blue pondered if just smacking her head senselessly into 'said table would bring any relief. She muttered quietly under her breath random words and phrases, the names of her friends, the things she'd seen, types of flowers, descriptions of people, anything. She needed to hear her voice.

[Tretesta]

Out from the bedroom, a shirtless and generally disheveled hyur wandered into the dark kitchen behind Blue, scratching his back and reaching out to place a gentle hand on the back of her head* “Good morning, lovely…*yawn* hm? Have you been here long? I don't think I even felt you get out of bed…” *Tret watched her as he took a seat at her left, hand sliding off her head and down to her upper arm.

[Blue]

Blue slowly lifted her head up from her arms at the sound of Tret's approach before slumping back down again with the odd mixture of a whine and a groan escaping her mouth. Blue looked a fair bit disheveled herself, blue tresses of hair falling haphazardly at her shoulders and down her back while her eyes winked open and closed with some difficulty.

“Been out here for a lil while Dearest. Couldn't get to sleep. Too much..” She pauses and takes a moment to stretch out her arms across the table before scooting her chair closer beside the man.

She gazed over at him quietly before reaching out and entwining her fingers with his. “I have to tell you something, but you probably won't like it.”

As if on cue, the Xaela feels her head throbbing madly and she closes her eyes again, only the slightest fervent squeeze to Tret's palm signaling that something might be amiss.

[Tretesta]

Tret reaches out his unheld hand and places it atop hers, concern obvious on his face. “Well, I'm already not liking it so far, if you have to start like that.” He returned her hand squeeze and lowered down, resting the side of his face on the table to be eye level with her. His voice lower now, “Go ahead, not gonna tell you to keep it to yourself. If we can get ahead of it now…” He trailed off there, trying not to let his mind go insane thinking about what she might say next

[Blue]

Blue's gaze lingers over Tret's, and she gives him a soft smile in return. “Remember when we first met? I was just snoozing away in the woods and you chanced to cross my path on a bad day. I could have killed you then, but I didn't, thankfully. And you were there the times when I'd lose control, or let my anger or confusion get the better of me. Suddenly I'm a dragon and all I want to do is tear everything and everyone apart.”

She gingerly releases her hand from his hold to drum her fingertips against the table.

“All those times I thought it was just me. Just letting instinct take over, you know? But since we've come here, I've been…hearing things.”

[Tretesta]

“I do remember those days still. Hard to forget a wyrm in front of you and a spear above you… But we seemed to be doing alright with you at one point, resisting that instinct. Me and you had a some good fights, together, where you had control…” Tret reached over and placed his hand over her nervous fingers, squeezing them firmly, then sits up properly again. His brows knit together as he inquired “…Hearing what things? The elementals? Something telling you to just let go of control? Hopefully…..”

[Blue]

No..not the elementals. Definitely not.“ *Blue looks out across the table to the window where only the faintest slivers of sunlight were beginning to form outside.* “Have I ever told you what it's like, changing that is?”

[Tretesta]

as light crept into the room, Tret gave Blue's hand one last squeeze and attended his husbandly duty. Up out of his chair, he'd reach for and pull on a hanging apron, tieing it loosely behind him and setting about breakfast. A pot of coffee on the stove first, he'd call back as he dug around cabinets “you've told me a little bit. You… How do you…. Channel? The creature you become? Change into it in your mind, somewhat, yes?” *Tret turned, leaning against the counter and sharpening a knife as he watched her for an answer.*

[Blue]

Blue shifted her gaze over to Tret as he aproned up, shaking her head with a loving grin before she shoved her seat back and stood up. Almost immediately the jarring in her head forced the Xaela to gasp sharply, but before it could be noticed or questioned, she loped into the bedroom. Rummaging noises were heard from within before she appeared again, holding her beloved purple dress and her too-cool sneaky outfit. She came back to stand in front of the table, looking earnestly in Tret's general direction.

“It's like slipping on a new piece of clothing. There's a little bit of wriggling but then it fits just right! And you're different and transformed! But that wriggling part can be super easy or super hard depending on what you choose to wear. I can change into a chocobo without a second thought. I feel who they are and what they think and how they feel. Course tending to them a lot helps there.” She giggled softly to herself, hugging her clothing and seeming to have forgotten why she needed to bring them out in the first place. For emphasis, she supposed.

“But then…that Wyvern we hunted with Gair and Luna. I've grasped the form. I know its power. Haven't had the chance or a nice hidey spot to change into it yet..but I know what to expect. I felt its rage and its sadness. And if I try it on, I'll feel those same emotions and have to fight those urges back down, calm the beast inside, if that makes sense.”

Blue drops back in her chair and sets her outfits on top of her lap, gingerly feeling at the fabric with her fingers. “It's never been the same with the Dragon though. Suppose that's my fault. Never modeled it after another creature or anything. Imagined it too big or too fierce. Sometimes it'd let me do what I wanted, if that's that *it* wanted. Sometimes I thought I was in control. But now I'm unsure if I ever was.”

[Tretesta]

Tret turns back to his prep as Blue scampers off. When she returned, he'd take the time to turn back around to listen, only pausing periodically to check on his cooking. As she trailed off, he was silent for a few moments, digesting her story and musings. Pulling the coffee pot off the stove, he'd pour them both a mug and bring them to the table, along with bowls of sugar and cream for Blue.

Tret would let the food be for a few moments, sitting next to Blue again ”…So the dragon has only ever been in your head? That… Makes sense. I've seen you be all sorts of dragons, over the years. similar, but different nearly every time. When I first met you, you looked far different than when you attacked Thrax. And for the ring, again for the ribbon…“ He paused, sipping at his coffee, and then set the mug down ”…But it's speaking to you. the creature you created in your head. The creature you become. Interesting…“

[Blue]

Blue dipped her head near the brim of the coffee mug, taking in the scent, tail wagging slowly. “Well yeah…I thought maybe trying to adjust it or change it might make it easier to manage somehow. It's the only form I can manipulate like that.” She waved a hand. “Multiple heads, fur, lotsa of spikes, no legs. Didn't make any difference to how it felt. It never fit proper.”

She finally brought her hands around the mug, lifting it to her lips if only to lick at the coffee distractedly. Like a dog lapping up water. She blinks after a moment and sips it proper before holding the warm cup against her chest.

“I think it's because I've been fighting a lot lately. There's nothing to worry about when I'm out there in the flowers, but I've been really active. I first noticed the voice when I considered shapeshifting back in Thanalan with Gair, Rina, and Novine. The battle was getting drastic..wasn't sure what was going to happen. I thought, 'Should I change? Will that change the tides?' It answered me.”

“It happened in the Sylphlands as well. I saw you hurt and Luna pierced and Vinalo in pain and it didn't wait for me to think that time. 'This is what I'm for. I'll destroy everything for you. There won't be anymore danger.'”

“You saw the way I struck that Wyvern down. That's…not what usually happens. I might have channeled that monster's anger but I beheaded it. That's not…I wouldn't do that…”

[Tretesta]

Slowly rising, Tret escorts his coffee back to the stove as she speaks, thinking quietly. He'd plate up a simple breakfast of egg, popotoe, and bacon, bringing both meals to the table and setting one with cutlery down in front of Blue. He wouldn't begin eating yet, resting his elbows on the table, interlacing his fingers, and placing chin atop his hands, speaking finally

”…It wants destruction, then. You've been… Feeding it I guess? With these weekly grindstone appearances, and the odd battle for life… Hm. Can it be sated? Can it be controlled again?“ He asked himself mostly, closing his eyes and shaking his head “I know a bit about uncontrolled rage. Not in the last few years, which is odd. The family curse, neh? But… This is your own creation. A Beast you made… to destroy? Out of desperation, perhaps? Fear. You said it will kill everything to make it safe…”

[Blue]

Blue wouldn't eat just yet either, placing her palms flat on the table, fingers curling slightly. “It came about when I was younger, back before you met me. The slave days. I just wanted to be stronger then..still do sometimes.” She gave a sigh and took a fork in one hand, poking at the egg on her plate. She managed to smile at Tret as he mentioned his curse. “I don't seem to recall you going berserk too often around me even when we first met. I'm a good influence!”

A splash of red suddenly filled the Xaela's vision, and the fork clattered on her plate, drawing her hand to her head.

[Tretesta]

“Well, it's a bit like what you've described. Desperation, back to the wall, or just pure rage. There were a few moments at- Blue?” He reached out for her, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing “Easy, dear. Focus on my voice. Breathe, in, out, slowly. Focus. You *are* stronger. You fight with your own strength and *win*. You *are* safe.” Tret stood and moved around behind Blue, holding both of her shoulders now firmly and rubbing slow circles “Eaaaaaasy….”

[Blue]

Blue shuddered quietly at Tret's words, drawing her arms back into the safety of her lap as she stares down at the floor. “And *this* is happening. There's no danger! I'm fine!” Blue draws her gaze up and over her shoulder as Tret rubs her gently. ”..It wants out. Maybe I should let it….just not here, or near our friends. Because of the ribbon, I wouldn't be able to stay in that form too long anyway. Just hole myself up someplace for a short time. Let all of this out. You think…maybe that'll work?“

[Tretesta]

Once sure the feeling had passed, Tret would sit down in his chair again, reaching under the table to place a hand over hers again “I think you could end up hurting yourself, maybe some others. But you also haven't let it out in what feels like years. We've been keeping such a low profile all this time.” With his free hand, he'd resume his breakfast, speaking between mouthfuls and thinking whilst he chewed ”…We could find somewhere, maybe, less traveled. I could hang around relatively close. Keep folks away or something… Close enough at least I can check on you and get you out and home when its all done, neh?“

[Blue]

Blue dropped her gaze to the breakfast in front of her. It was getting cold after all. With a gentle squeeze under the table she brought her hands up to eat from her own plate, also lost in thought.

“Well..it can't be here. We're already hiding away in this cabin, don't need no nosy people springing your traps.” She smiled ruefully. “And the manor is here as well. I don't think I'd like to risk more than I have already have in possibly crashing through the doors.”

She nibbled on the end of the popotoe gingerly. “Thanalan has the big city, but also a lot of desert. There's a bunch of random camps and villages… La Noscea? It's surrounded by water and I know we've passed some caves and coves traveling there.”

She puts her fork away in favor of cupping her hands together. “Just a place to contain the dragon.” She flicks an ear. “Cave myself in for a time. Don't let it escape. And even if it tries, make it hard for it to get far. Maybe?” The latter part of the Xaela's tone grew hopeful.

[Tretesta]

Tret got up from the table with his empty plate, going to the sink with it and then starting clean up and to pour himself another cup of coffee “Maybe indeed. Long as you're not a diggy dragon like I've seen you be. And as long as we get you far enough away from any settlements. The island might do nicely, maybe out near the floating stones and such. Believe there's room for hiding away out there. Some local wildlife might be a bit upset though…” Apron came off and was tossed over a chair at the table, and leaned back against the counter, watching Blue eat ”…Suppose I can take some time off work to hang around the area too. Go camping for a bit. God, I've spent so long trying to be a new man, and I keep getting pulled back into my old habits… Maybe we should go find a nice cherry tree sapling and plant it out here.“

[Blue]

Blue lowered her eyes at Tret's latter words, flattening her ears. “I'm sorry dear, you know I'm not trying to cause trouble!” Evidently done with breakfast, the Xaela swings her legs up on the chair and wraps her arms around them. “We'd been doing a good job staying hidden if not for me..” Oh so briefly does the red haze return in kind, and her eyes widen briefly. Blue digs her fingernails into her legs and takes a breath before looking back at Tret proper, lip trembling slightly.

[Tretesta]

Tret laughs and shakes his head. “If not for you? Bah! Of the two of us, I'm the trouble maker. I ran off and joined up with that one group in Thanalan. Then I dragged you into the mess with the Hounds. Running around hunting dragons again… Look at this” Next to his goofy but iconic helmet, his notebook lay on the counter. Tret snatched up the book and walked back to the table, flipping it to a page and laying it in front of her. There were rough sketches of a familiar coat on the presented page “I can't pull myself away from the past. I've been working on putting this together, with 'Rina's and some guilds' help. Maybe I'm just… restless? Bored? But it's not you.”

Leaving the book, Tret circled back around Blue, leaned over, and hugged her over her shoulders from behind, Kissing the side of her head “Honestly… I've missed some of the craziness we found ourselves in. I think the outing with Langston and the cooking made me realize that. This sounds like an adventure. Like growth! I'm with you, Lovely. Every step of the way! And excited to be there!” Another few kisses to her cheek, then he'd lift turn Blues chin to give a final one kiss the lips. Tret added finally, lowering his voice. “I wouldn't even be thinking of places to go, if I wasn't looking forward to it. I'd tell you to suppress it. Lets take a risk, for once in so many years. The reward will certainly be worth.”

[Blue]

Blue expected many responses from the man she loved, but certainly not to the degree that he'd provided, staring down at the sketches of a coat that had once caught fire in another place, at another time. Certainly, he too had been caught up as she had been, striving for something beyond just tending to chocobos for the rest of their days, but it was only now that the Xaela realized that perhaps it was bound to happen.

Blue giggled at Tret's kisses and planted one of her own against his lips. Seems his own excitement (and the kisses) brought that smile back to her face, and she'd unwrap her arms from her legs in favor of cradling his head against hers. Rubbing her forehead against her mate, Blue nods. “Okay…Let's do it. Not like we haven't risked things before. Just…find me someplace secluded. And…if people get hurt..” She paused if only to kiss her Hyur on both cheeks. “You get them out of there, get them care. Promise?”

[Tretesta]

Tret rubs his nose against hers for a moment, then pulls away from the embrace, collecting his notebook and disappearing back into the bedroom. He called out to her as rummaged around “I'll check some maps of… Vrylbrand. And maybe the desert… Where is … Ah here. Surely one or the other has a nice area with a choke that I can guard.” He trailed off there, coming out from the back fully dressed for work. “You think about when you want to go, come by and tell me, and I'll tell the boss I'm leaving for a week or so. Not like I'll get fired. They'll find some kid out for his first bird to help with chores. Surely the manor stables will be ok without you for a bit too, yeah?

[Blue]

As Tret retreated, Blue gobbled up the rest of her surely-cold breakfast at this point, her spirits lifted, the pounding in her head momentarily subsiding. Perhaps the dragon knew, too, that it would be let out soon. The shapeshifter wasn't sure, but at the very least she was thankful for the break. As he returned she nodded. “I'll think about where we should go while you're at work…and I'll drop a note off at the manor too so nobody worries! Oh, and maybe spend some time picking some extra treats for the chocobos too so they won't go hungry.” She smiled softly, lifting herself up off the chair and pouncing into the man with a full-on hug. “This'll be fine. This'll be okay! I feel better now. Thank you, Love. Dunno where I'd be without you.”

[Tretesta]

Tret caught her easily as he was attacked and squeezed her relentlessly, spinning Blue around once before setting her back on her feet. “Honestly? probably curled up in your tree, not a care in the world. But life steered your right into the warm embrace of my sword, and here we are. We'll either be fine, or we won't. If we have to pack up again and take off? Bah, so be it. Maybe we can hide out in Thavnair again. Or go get you in touch with your tribal roots out far far east!” Tret released her, grabbed his notebook off the table, then his bag and helmet off the counter, and finally gave Blue a parting kiss “Or everything works out, yet again, and we keep on living the best we can. I love you, dear. I'll see you later today or tonight.” One more kiss for good measure, and he turned to leave.

[Blue]

Blue looks out after Tret as he departs, a silly, loving grin on her face as she calls back after him, “Love you too!” She laces her fingers together and stands near the doorway expectantly, waiting and listening, just in case the man decided to skip out on work for the day in favor of some quality time with a very cuddly Au Ri. She waited only a minute of two before pouting softly and turning back to the table. Silly hard working husband.

At the very least the strange sensations plaguing Blue had subsided for the time being. It allowed her time to focus as she picked up a piece of parchment and a quill pen and began to write, stopping every so often to look out through the window as everything else in the Shroud slowly began to stir.

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